Where did I go wrong?

It’s a question parents ask when their kids aren’t making good decisions.

It’s a question pastors ask when conflict arises in their congregation.

Seventeen years into her ministry as a senior pastor, a disgruntled group of congregants expressed dissatisfaction with Mimi Dixon’s leadership. Division and discord arose within the church. She spent tremendous energy trying to resolve petty complaints only to find it made matters worse. As the leader, she was convinced it was her fault.

“If only I had effectively presented Jesus and his invitation to follow him,” Mimi writes, ​“this would never have happened…. My prayer life devolved to a single, repetitive phrase: ​‘I failed. Jesus, I am so sorry.’”

Now if you’ve ever spent time with Mimi, you know that few people exude and express Jesus as she does. And that’s the thing: we rarely see ourselves clearly.

While some leaders can’t see their own flaws, others can hardly see beyond them. To see yourself and your situation clearly requires honest friendship with trusted peers and quality time with Jesus. Thankfully, Mimi sought both.

During one extended time of solitude, she sensed Jesus saying: ​“People get to choose; no one can make that decision for them. And what they choose is not your business, it is between them and me.”

Mimi goes on: ​“Jesus addressed my misguided conviction that it was my job to keep the community happy and intact. ​‘Your job,’ he stressed, ​‘is not to satisfy complaints. The moment you make complaints your business, you lose focus… Your people will follow your gaze, so fasten your eyes on me.’”

She took his words to heart. Mimi would go on to pastor that church for another seventeen years, retiring after 34 years of ministry. Want to know something remarkable? At the end, she wasn’t burned out. So when she writes a note to pastorsor joins the Renovaré Podcast, it’s worth listening. What sustained her has become her life’s message to pastors and to all followers of Jesus: Keep First Things First.