A self-confessed ​“very serious religious performer” wrote in with a question that may resonate with you.

You can imagine the joy I feel reading Matthew 11:28 – 30 [Jesus’ invitation of rest for the weary], this most beautiful declaration against religious performance. My heart sings at these words of Jesus. BUT… I’m fundamentally not a transformed person, and the constant struggle against the flesh is real. So I’ve turned to the spiritual disciplines, seeking to put to death my flesh and receive the promised new heart. But the spiritual disciplines don’t feel restful! Some of them like fasting are downright agonizing. Certainly not ​“easy and light”!

Is it possible to practice the spiritual disciplines out of a place of peace and rest from day one following Jesus, or is the easy and light yoke only the prize at the end of an an arduous, labor-filled journey? It just feels so often like the spiritual disciplines are another form of religious performance.

Such a needed question! And in this week’s episode of Friends in Formation, Nate, Richella, and James respond with grace-filled insights.

As a recovering performer/perfectionist myself, I’ve found that the degree to which spiritual disciplines are drudgery directly correlates with our picture of God and ourselves.

If we believe God’s default disposition toward us is disappointed, it’s hard for the disciplines to be anything other than an attempt to change God’s mind.

Likewise, if we view ourselves as unlovable, the disciplines can become an attempt to compensate for our lack of worth. (Remember that while we are undeserving of grace, we are deeply valuable. ​“You are,” Jesus reminds us, ​“worth more than many sparrows.”)

Regarding struggling against the flesh… Sin-awareness is helpful; sin-focus is a trap. When the aim of the disciplines becomes removing sin rather than opening oneself to God, it’s easy to feel continually defeated and just plain worn out.

Paul says, ​“If by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.”

“By the Spirit” is a key phrase there. Trying to put to death the misdeeds of the body any other way just leads to more death.

And all this is why Richard Foster calls spiritual disciplines ​“the dangerous life of the Spirit” — because there are so many potential pitfalls. (He outlines seven of them here.)

But there is a way to engage in spiritual practices that is free from performance, free from striving, and yes — from our first day yoked to Jesus — easy and light.