There is a kind of restraint that leads to life.

Earlier this week, while listening to a favorite album, I was struck by how Apple Music described it:

“It’s a more mature work… because of its restraint. On his early albums, it felt like Lanois wanted to do everything at once; Shine puts a greater value on intimacy and quietude, which in turn makes the music more powerful.”

When our ​“resident Brit” James Catford was asked about the spiritual significance of the pageantry and liturgy of Queen Elizabeth’s funeral, his response was surprising:

“The attraction of it is orderly restraint…”

(That idea gets helpfully unpacked in this week’s episode of Friends in Formation.)

Some of the most personally transformative small groups are full of restraints: no crosstalk, no advice, generous room for silence.

And some of the most culturally transformative movements have been led by those, like Martin Luther King, Jr., who modeled costly restraint from anger and violence.

So there is beauty, wisdom, and transformative power in restraint.

And sometimes there isn’t, because every virtue can be twisted into vice. So it’s worth saying what Christlike restraint is not.

It is not rigid and judgmental.

It is not a white-knuckled attempt to stop oneself from acting or thinking a certain way.

It is not signing up for the ​“Fellowship of the Gritted Teeth.”

Christlike restraint is to walk with the Holy Spirit into holy habits of holding back — in those cases where holding back creates space for life and peace. It is akin to temperance, one of the four classic cardinal virtues.

And how do we practice a virtue like temperance or fortitude?

“In one sense we don’t, really,” writes Richard Foster. ​“It is much more a quality of life than it is particular actions. God is far more interested in people of a particular sort than he is in particular actions… And, in reality, all of the virtues are aimed at developing a certain kind of person.”

What I appreciate about Richard is that he doesn’t leave us hanging there, but offers in that article (and in much of his writing) practical ways to think and live ​“with God” into a life of virtue.

So, may you find ways in the next few days to practice Spirit-led restraint — at work, at home, in conversation, in creativity — in such a way that leads to life and joy and peace.