Finding Freedom in Solitude and Silence

I have just returned from meeting with a highly effective pastor in our area who is planning an extended period of personal retreat for his own spiritual nurture. During our conversation, he said to me, ​“The greatest gift I can give my people is to become a pastor who has grown deep in the things of God.” Wise pastor! And rare.

This prompted me to think about why we shy away from experiences of solitude even though they were absolutely axiomatic to the figures that walk across the pages of our Bible and to the great leaders of all our traditions. I am not thinking about the normal excuses we give for neglecting times of personal retreat: overcrowded schedules, demanding responsibilities, numerous obligations, constant deadlines, and more. While these things do need to be dealt with, they are only surface matters.

No, I am concerned about a deeper reason that invariably crops up any time we consider times of genuine solitude. It is the almost overwhelming feeling that we will be passed over. Now, what we say is, ​“I want to be available to help whenever there is a crisis or problem.” But what really concerns us is that people will get along quite well without us! You see, this strikes right at the root of our fear of becoming unimportant, unneeded, insignificant, useless.

The Liberating Grace of Solitude and Silence

In our day God is using the spiritual discipline of solitude as the great liberator. As long as we are at the center of the action, we feel indispensable. And we are sorely tempted to micro-manage everyone around us… for their good, of course! But genuine experiences of solitude undercut all the pretense. 

In the very act of stepping away we resign as CEO of the universe. We entrust people into the hands of God. We allow others to develop and grow without our constant oversight. In time, this gives us a precious freedom when we are among people — the freedom to serve and be served without the slightest need to manage or control either people or circumstances.

Solitude liberates us from all the inane chatter that is so characteristic of modern life. It liberates us from the ever-present demands that are put upon us; demands that in the moment feel so urgent and pressing but that in reality have no lasting significance. In solitude the useless trivialities of life begin to drop away. We are set free from the many ​“false selves” we have built up in order to cope with the expectations others place upon us — and we place upon ourselves. Solitude empowers us to walk away from all human pretense and manipulation. 

In addition, God uses our experiences of solitude to enable us to become who we truly are. We begin, slowly at first, to live simply before God. Increasingly we come to see things in the light of eternity, and as a result, successes and failures no longer impress us or oppress us. Experiences of solitude root in us a deep, abiding hope; a hope that sees everything in the light of God’s overriding governance for good. In solitude we are so bathed in God’s greatness and goodness that we come to see the immense value of our own soul. The result is that we become increasingly freed from our frantic human strivings.

Of course, all of our experiences in solitude are done in the presence of the living God. We are, after all, experiencing solitude as a Christian spiritual discipline. In times of solitude, we become enveloped in God’s very presence.

There is an intimate connection between solitude and silence. Silence, you see, creates in us an open, empty space where we are enabled to become attentive to God. And oh, how we need such open spaces in our modern techno-world with its relentless barrage of ​“sound and fury, signifying nothing.” Indeed, many people today have become little more than walking ​“towers of babble.”

Today silence is one of the most essential disciplines of the Spirit simply because it puts a stopper on all this mindless chatter and clatter. It enables us to step aside from the noise and hurry and crowds of modern life long enough to allow God to create in us attitudes and habits that will hold us constantly in the loving presence of God.

There was a time, not so very long ago, when solitude and silence were available to people by the normal conditions of everyday life. Not any longer! In our day we have to choose solitude and silence and plan our lives accordingly. It can be done, of course, especially as we catch a vision of their liberating qualities. 

Practical Steps into Solitude and Silence

All of us committed to the Renovaré vision are seeking to integrate times of solitude and retreat into our personal lives, and (given our world and its reigning values) we need all the encouragement and help we can get in this matter. So, let me suggest some of the varied venues for solitude that are within the reach of everyone.

• Take a pre-dawn walk. Listen to the awakening sounds of your world, whether city or country. Give the coming day to God. Listen for his guidance over the labor of the day. It is an ancient discipline to welcome the new day in faith and worship. ​“O Lord, in the morning thou dost hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for thee, and watch” (Ps. 5:3). ​“And in the morning, a great while before day, he [Jesus] rose and went out to a lonely place, and there he prayed” (Mark 2:35). In the words of the old German hymn, ​“When morning gilds the skies, My heart awaking cries, May Jesus Christ be praised!”
• For one week, commute and travel without listening to music or podcasts or catching up on communications. We often use noise to anesthetize our journeys. Instead, use your time in transit to watch people, listen, and pray. Pray for the person in the car ahead of you or next to you on the subway. Bless those who cut in front of you; bless and do not curse them.” Look out the window and ​“Consider the lilies of the field” (see Matt. 6:28). Notice the contrast between nature’s pace and the frantic scramble of human activity around you. 
• In the middle of the day, take a twenty minute break. Stroll around the office building (or home or field or school), prayerfully placing every person who works there into the strong, protective arms of God. Listen for divine impressions on upcoming meetings, relationships in the office, creative solutions to troubling business situations, and more.
• Limit your speech to an absolute minimum for one day. See what you learn about yourself; for example, how frantically you depend upon words to manipulate situations. Watch for how words can bless and encourage, and how they can wound and destroy. Take mental notes for the future about how your words can be few and full.
• As the children are taking a nap, read one chapter of a devotional classic or simply savor the ​“aloneness” and silence. Enjoy a fresh cup of coffee and with every sip ask for the inflow of God’s warmth and wisdom. 
• Take a social justice retreat by spending a day somewhere where you can be among the poor. Walk the streets imagining who Jesus would notice and how he would see them. Fast from food so that in a small way you may enter into the gnawing hunger of those who live a longterm, compulsory fast. Consider how it would feel to live in fear or pain or cold. Without trying to solve every problem, listen for any divine guidance you may be given for action. 
• Have an experience of ​“watching.” Arise at 2:00 a.m., light a single candle as a reminder of the presence of Christ, and for one hour listen to the sounds of the night. Don’t try to read or write. This is a time for silence, for stillness. Don’t even try to pray in the normal sense of talking or articulating thoughts. Be quiet. Enter the Shalom of God. After the hour, return to bed and to sleep, remembering the words of Brother Lawrence; ​“those who have the gale of the Holy Spirit go forward even in sleep.”