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Renovaré Weekly · October 29, 2021

The First Step

LETTER BY BRIAN MORYKON

Watchman Nee said the first step toward God isn’t faith or repentance — the first step is to approach the Lord with an honest heart.”

We’ve been hearing a lot of heart honesty in the questions people are submitting to the Friends in Formation podcast. (If you’ve got a question you’d like addressed on the show, please email [email protected].)

Here’s one from a 22-year-old who grew up in a Christian home and gave his life to Jesus at a young age:

My faith is slipping away, I feel like not only a square peg in a round hole at church, but having lost a sense of mission/purpose, I also feel like a square peg in a round hole in the world. Losing faith has been doubly alienating. What advice do you have for someone who grew up in the church and is now losing faith? When I’m in a circle praying at Bible study, I ask myself, What am I even doing here?” I want my conviction-driven life back, but I don’t know how.… and it’s just so hard. 

The hosts of the show — James, Nate, and Richella — each responded with generosity and thoughtfulness that transcended platitudes. One line from Nate stands out in particular:

You mentioned getting back to your conviction-driven life. And that may happen, that may be wonderful… but I would love to see you fall in love.”

Maybe this sounds a bit touchy feely. Love is, after all, a choice; commitment is a choice; living a principled life is a choice.

True.

But if you live primarily by willpower and principles — if your commitment to anyone, especially to God, is in service of the commitment itself, I promise it will wear you down. (I speak from experience.) But if you bring your honest self to the God who loves you, your vulnerable self to others you trust, this step of honesty will — not always, but often — spark genuine connection and love. And it is love that will sustain us and motivate us, and in the end, love that will remain.

If you love me,” Jesus said — not as some kind of codependent manipulative tactic, but as a statement of fact — you’ll keep my commandments.” 

So may we fall in love.

Brian Morykon

Brian Morykon
Director of Communications

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