The Bread of Mercy
LETTER BY BRIAN MORYKON
I don’t think it’s going too far to call unforgiveness an act of idolatry.
Because holding someone in contempt means sitting on God’s throne and saying I know better. Even if the person I’m holding in contempt is me.
Not forgiving ourselves leads to shame, which often is pride masquerading as humility. We hide from God and others because we think they can’t handle our naked soul without being repulsed. We hide not just to prevent our own embarrassment but theirs, too. That’s what we tell ourselves, anyway. The real reason is that we don’t want to face the pain of exposure and the risk of rejection — or the risk of acceptance and absolution, which can sting nearly as much.
Not forgiving others leads to bitterness. Bitterness is a hairball clogging the pipe of God’s life flowing into and through us, a chain that binds us, a distorted lens that blinds us. “We don’t forgive because people deserve it,” songwriter Jason Upton once declared in spontaneous worship, “we forgive so we can see again.” *
Forgiveness in the Lord’s Prayer comes right after asking for daily bread. Maybe they’re linked. Maybe receiving and extending forgiveness is part of our daily sustenance. Bitterness devours; forgiveness feeds.
Lovely language, but how do we do it? How do we actually forgive?
A few days ago a friend shared a story. He asked for prayer at church because he held a grudge he felt he couldn’t forgive. The prayer minister said, “Well, let’s forgive that person right now.” Taken aback for a moment, my friend proceeded with little feeling to pray by faith to release forgiveness. In time, freedom followed.
It can be difficult to forgive and to receive forgiveness by ourselves. We need Christ in a sister or brother to hear our hurt and help us release our offender, and to hear our sins and help us release ourselves.
A book could be filled with caveats and cautions: forgiveness doesn’t mean the offense is less severe; it doesn’t mean a relationship is always restored; it doesn’t mean being a victim or staying in abusive situations. You know this.
In fact, you probably know all of what I just wrote.
Perhaps, like me, you just needed a reminder today of what forgiveness is. It is giving what you’ve been given: the bread of mercy.
Brian Morykon
Director of Communications
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LET’S DIVE IN...
CURATED BY GRACE POUCH
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1.
In “The Perfect Penitent,” C.S. Lewis writes that repentance is “a description of what going back to Him is like,” and since we are incapable of such a full return on our own, the atonement is God’s way of helping us to do it.
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2.
A stirring essay from Plough looks at our internal resistance to confession — self-contempt, denial, rationalizing — and the Lenten movement toward acceptance and surrender.
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3.
“God has given us our brothers and sisters to … make God’s presence and forgiveness real to us,” writes Richard Foster in “The Christian’s Authority to Forgive Sins.”
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4.
Athanasius describes St. Anthony’s counsel to his fellow monks on the practice of examen—a way to “test yourself” and see your sin, as Paul asks us to do (2 Corinthians 13:5).
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5.
Two podcast episodes from our archives can help us explore confession and forgiveness: Paul Patton spoke with Nate about the way confession connects us with God’s grace on Episode 144, and Rebecca DeYoung spoke with Nate about how we allow the Master Physician to heal the root causes of our sin on Episode 145.
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6.
Trevor Hudson invites us to sit with Jesus’ words, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”
Grace Pouch
Content Manager