In response to a sincere compliment, many Christians will demur and mumble something like, ​“It was nothing.”

“Beware the humble mumble,” James Catford says on this week’s episode of Friends in Formation podcast. (You can hear the fun backstory of that phrase in the episode.) The ​“humble mumble” is, of course, not humble at all. In the case of a compliment, the humble response is likely a simple eye-to-eye, ​“Thank you.”

This shows how humility might look different than we expect.

Far from self-loathing and self-pity (and self-focus in general!), humility is evidenced by quiet confidence, attentive presence, authenticity, and the ability to serve without recognition.

A humble person knows the immense worth of God and bows in worship. She also knows her worth to God, and thus can rest and rise in God’s care. Firmly rooted in reality and in truth, she sees things as they are, no more and no less. She knows her weakness but her mind is full more of God’s grace than her own shortcomings.

Humility is attractive to those seeking truth. This is why so many were drawn to Jesus. Never was a person more confident in his identity and purpose in life. Never was someone more bold in faith and action. And never was someone more humble.

But that’s Jesus, we may think. For us, growth in humility can feel elusive or impossible. If you think you’re growing in this area, isn’t that proof that you aren’t? If we think of humility, however, as alignment with truth — not just intellectually, but way down deep in our being — we begin to see how growth is possible. 

Helpful practices may include solitude or acts of service. Other avenues of growth are less obvious and fine-tuned by God to the individual. For a gifted person who would prefer to hide away, humility might come through serving as a prominent CEO or speaking at a large event. For someone else, a behind-the-scenes no-credit project may be just the thing. It may come through humiliation or through praise, or through both in different seasons. God knows what each of us needs, and will gladly help us grow in humility if we ask.

I’ll leave you with this quote from 14^th-century mystic John of Ruusbroec, who considered humility to be the foundation of all other virtues:

hBy humility the snares of the devil, and of sin, and of the world, are broken, and man is set in order, and established in the very condition of virtue. And heaven is opened to him, and God stoops to hear his prayers, and he is fulfilled with grace. And Christ, that strong rock, is his foundation. Whosoever therefore grounds his virtues in humility, he shall never err.