Socrates said the unexamined life is not worth living. 

I say the overexamined life is also not worth living. 

Years of my life were wasted on scrupulous introspection in pursuit of self-perfection under the guise of pleasing God.

I’ve learned there is a way of examining that leads to life and a way that doesn’t. 

One way of reflecting on past mistakes leads to the heart’s humble turning toward the empowering grace of God; another way leads to debilitating despair and shame.

One way of reflecting on past joys leads to a gratitude where the pleasure of the memory grows full in the remembering; another way leads to a wistful pining to have again what you once had before.

Much has been written on the Ignatian Examen, a structured prayer practice for reflecting with God on a period of time, typically the last 24 hours. It’s a practice that comes in various flavors, but most of them contain these elements:

1. Become aware of God’s presence and ask for light.
2. Give thanks.
3. Review the day.
4. Face your shortcomings.
5. Look with God toward tomorrow.

I’ve practiced the examen off and on for a while. But even after doing the Spiritual Exercises, and even after my spiritual director recommended that for a time I skip the shortcomings step (because I kept jumping to it and getting stuck there), I still find myself using the examen as a program of self-improvement. 

One Jesuit father wrote that the examen is ​“not a Ben Franklin-like striving for self-perfection.” Rather, it is ​“an experience in faith of growing sensitivity to the unique, intimately special ways that God’s Spirit has of approaching and calling us… The examen is a time of prayer.” 

Here’s a bit of advice if you attempt the examen or any type of prayerful reflection on the past. Do not, as I have so often done, breeze through the vital first step. That step is to invite the Spirit of Christ, the One within and beyond you, to accompany, guide, and illuminate. Then, as you move into gratitude, reflection, and contrition, do not leave the Spirit behind. What do I mean? 

It is possible to tour a large house or castle and leave the host standing in the foyer. Wandering around, at some point you become lost or lock yourself in a room and have to shout for help. It’s much better to have the host beside you saying open this door and not that one, or I know this room looks scary, but I’ve got vision for renovating it. 

The point of the examen is to learn to find God and discern God’s will in all of life. This discerning of God’s will is not an obsession with ​“doing the right thing” or ​“choosing the perfect option,” but a growing responsiveness, a deeper dependence giving way to humble obedience that blossoms into freedom, joy, and the building up of those around you. It is to live the kind of life worth living.