Someone is better at the thing you’re best at.

Someone less skilled is somehow more successful.

Someone has stronger health and a healthier bank account, more supportive parents and calmer kids, a slimmer body and a larger intellect. 

And while you can minimize exposure to envy-inducing environments — unfriend, unfollow, log off, or live under a rock — at some point, someone with something you want is going to show up where you are. 

Then, quick as thought, what begins as innocent observation tumbles into a split-second sequence: observation turns to comparison, comparison to judgement, and from there to malice and malaise. Before you know it, you’re moping around because the goodness God gave someone else displaced the goodness God gave you. (Ask me how I know.)

We can’t control the distribution of talent and health and years. And, in a sense — the sense of ingrained habit — we can’t control our impulse to envy when we see how those things have been distributed. Envy crashes on us like a wave or seeps like water into an unsealed basement. Pretending envy isn’t there or attempting to override it through sheer willpower — ​“Good for so-and-so!” or ​“At least I have it better than…” — is like standing in water pretending our socks aren’t wet. They are. Acknowledgement is the first step toward unsoggy feet (and a lighter heart).

No matter what metaphor we use for envy — and a poisoned vein is more apt than a soggy sock — the cure is the same.

First, name it. Asaph makes no pretense in Psalm 73: ​“I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.” Simply naming it in your mind won’t do. Write down the envy, confess it to God aloud, tell a friend.

Second, ask God to genuinely bless whoever evoked the envy. Before confession, this step might be a sham, but after acknowledging our wrong and receiving God’s forgiveness and goodwill toward us, we’re more prepared to genuinely bless, even if it’s still difficult. Here, Jesus trumps Asaph: even enemies can be blessed.

Third, a wise person not only mitigates but also takes reasonable measures of prevention. 

A regular practice of gratitude goes a long way. (Note to self: get back to writing three ​“thankfuls” each evening.) God can use solitude and fasting, too, to settle a restless and jealous heart. 

Another ​“sealant” against envy is to build others up. ​“In humility,” the Apostle Paul writes, ​“consider others more important than yourselves” (Phil. 2:3). Not self-loathing but others-lifting. Envy is less common when we’re invested wholeheartedly in someone’s success and wellbeing. 

Using our own gifts — whatever size they may be — to serve others or just for holy enjoyment is another guard against envy. 

The parable of the talents in Matthew 25 is relevant here. You know the story. A rich man gives three servants one, two, and five talents, relative to their ability. (Everyone was given something of value, by the way — a single talent was worth something like 20 years’ wages.) The servant given one talent — paralyzed by fear and perhaps laden with envy — buries it. The servant given five talents turns them into ten. The servant given two talents is my favorite. Forgoing envy and pride, he goes to work with what he’s been given and doubles it…to four talents. That’s less than the Five Guy started with. Doesn’t matter. Two Guy was faithful, which not only warded off envy in the day-to-day but led to a ​“well done” on the last day.