There is a kind of self-examination that leads to death and a kind that leads to life.

Personally, awareness of my own shortcomings has often led to discouragement, impatience with myself, and harsh judgement towards others.

Why?

Because I confused mistakes with identity. When who I am is defined by the wrong I’ve done (or the good I’ve left undone), I find it difficult to allow God to love me. And when I reject God’s love, I have little love to give to others. 

And because my focus was misdirected. When sin is the focus of our self-examination, despair follows. But when we, guided by the Holy Spirit, look honestly at our sin while maintaining focus on Jesus — on his presence and love toward us — genuine repentance and freedom follows. Rebecca DeYoung notes:

“As the author of the book Glittering Vices, it may seem ironic to say that I hope that your attention isn’t ultimately focused on your own sinfulness. Reflection on the vices is one part of the practice of self-examination, but that practice must first and always be framed by the love of God, which steadfastly holds us.”

Saint Teresa of Avila believes right thinking about sin can actually be food for our souls:

“Along this path of prayer, self-knowledge and the thought of one’s sins is the bread with which all palates must be fed no matter how delicate they may be; they cannot be sustained without this bread.” (Richard Foster unpacks this more here.)

This bread is only nourishing, though, when we partake it in the kind company of Jesus. 

So, Father, help us see where there is work left to do in our hearts. I am confident you never point out sin to shame or discourage, but to grant us humility, the gift of seeing things as they are, which moves us closer to your fire of love. Burn away then all that keeps us from love and joy and peace.