Questioning, Square Pegs, Freedom vs. Lawlessness
James and Richella take on three listener questions with the help of priest and Renovaré Ministry Team member, Tiffany Clark. Together they explore how to walk alongside friends who are struggling with deep theological questions, how to welcome different types of people at church, and how to avoid letting freedom turn into lawlessness.
This Week’s Questions:
From Charlie — There are a few people in my community who are processing through the idea of universalism and honestly, it’s actually been a really engaging time for a few of us to process together. However, I have noticed my heart has been heavy and I have been walking with my friends through their really hard places. I believe that Scripture is clear on Christ being the only way to eternal life but my question is this: how do I support and love my friends well while they are in a place of really significant questioning?
From Adrian — What hospitality practices you would recommend for pastors and leaders to create an environment of welcome/acceptance of the person who is that square peg?
From Alfred — Dallas Willard says Jesus’ words aren’t meant to be read as dogma or law. But many people find that when they react against legalism, they drift into a kind of ‘lawlessness’ — where freedom as God’s children can become undisciplined, even empty, and childlikeness turns into childishness. How do we hold together that freedom and a life of discipline and holiness that leads to genuine spiritual formation?
The “roommate test” of characters in the Bible (Offered by James)
Some “square pegs” you might want to ask “would you want to share a college room with them?” This is not as insult, but to surface how socially awkward, disruptive, or unsettling Godly people
can be.
- John the Baptist — the wilderness outsider
John is probably the clearest “square peg” in the New Testament.
He lives in the desert, wears camel hair, eats locusts and wild honey, and publicly calls religious
leaders a “brood of vipers.”
He is compelling, but in a shared room he’d be:
bringing insects into the kitchen
refusing to adapt to social norms
constantly challenging everyone’s assumptions
unlikely to be tactful at breakfast
Yet Jesus calls him the greatest prophet. - Elijah — intense, isolated, emotionally volatile
Elijah swings between extraordinary spiritual power and deep despair (“I alone am left”).
He calls down fire, then runs away terrified and wants to die.
Roommate version:
dramatic mood swings
disappears into the wilderness without notice
sometimes brings confrontation energy into ordinary life
not exactly “even-keel housemate material”
Yet he is a central prophetic figure of Israel.
3. Jeremiah — the weeping prophet
Jeremiah is socially unpopular, emotionally raw, and constantly burdened with messages of
judgement.
He is:
often alone
forbidden from marrying
beaten, imprisoned, and rejected
Roommate version:
deeply melancholic presence
long monologues about national collapse
zero “light conversation at dinner” energy
Yet he carries one of the most profound calls in Scripture
What We’re Cooking:
Recommended by Richella — UNBROKEN: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption (2010), by Laura
Hillenbrand. Published by Turtleback Books
Recommended by James — SELECTED POETRY OF JESSICA POWERS edited by Regina Siegfried and Robert Morneau.
Published by Sheed and Ward 1989
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Tiffany Clark
Tiffany Clark is a member of the Renovaré Ministry Team, a spiritual director, and an Episcopal priest. She served in South Asia and throughout the global south, facilitating the spiritual formation of Christian leaders as an adjunct professor and facilitator with Development Associates International. She authored several workshops for DAI, including Living and Leading in the Love of God: Spiritual Formation for Leaders and Daughters of God: Overcoming the Effects of Sexual Abuse, which have been reproduced in multiple languages and regions of the world. She has facilitated spiritual retreats for clergy and Christian leaders in the government and NGO sectors, particular those serving in contexts of suffering. Tiffany has been formed through an MA in Intercultural Studies from Biola University, the Renovaré Institute, certification in Spiritual Direction through Divine Mercy University, and a postgraduate diploma in Anglican Studies at Virginia Theological Seminary. She now serves as Associate Priest for Adult Formation and Parish Groups at Christ Church, Georgetown, and savors living communally with her husband Ernest and their three adult children in Washington, DC.
James Catford
James Catford has spent his career at the intersection of publishing, leadership, and spiritual formation, working with many authors closely connected to Renovaré. He led the British Bible Society for fourteen years, founded the think tank Theos, and later chaired SPCK, the UK’s largest Christian publisher. He now serves as founding chair of the Center for Christianity and Public Life in Washington, D.C., and on the board of the Martin Institute and Dallas Willard Research Center at Westmont College. He is married to Sue, a former TV anchor and media executive.
Richella Parham
Richella is Chair of the Renovaré Board of Trustees. With a background in small business, education, and church leadership, Richella is a speaker and the author of Mythical Me (IVP) and A Spiritual Formation Primer. She is the mother of three young adult sons and lives with her husband Jack in Durham, North Carolina. Read her full bio and connect with Richella at richellajparham.com.