Editor's note:

Songwriter Rich Mullins was never afraid to wrestle with the mystery, beauty, heartache, and redemption that comes with the with-God life. Today, we share the lyrics to one of the last songs he wrote and recorded about the tension we hold in knowing a Jesus both fully human and fully God. 

This song is for anyone who has had moments—or seasons—when Jesus feels cosmically distant and then suddenly close and seems just plain hard to get.

—Renovaré Team

Excerpt from The Jesus Record

Hard to Get

You who live in heaven—
Hear the prayers of those of us who live on earth
Who are afraid of being left by those we love
And who get hardened by the hurt

Do you remember when you lived down here where we all scrape
To find the faith to ask for daily bread
Did you forget about us after you had flown away?
Well I memorized every word you said

Still I’m so scared I’m holding my breath
While you’re up there just playing hard to get

You who live in radiance—
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin
We have a love that’s not as patient as yours was
But still we do love now and then

Did you ever know loneliness—
Did you ever know need?
Do you remember just how long a night can get
When you are barely holding on
And your friends fall asleep
And don’t see the blood that’s running in your sweat

Will those who mourn be left uncomforted
While you’re up there just playing hard to get?

And I know you bore our sorrows
And I know you feel our pain
And I know it would not hurt any less
Even if it could be explained

And I know that I am only lashing out
At the One who loves me most
And after I figured this somehow
All I really need to know

Is if you who live in eternity
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time
We can’t see what’s ahead
And we can not get free of what we’ve left behind
I’m reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears
All these words of shame and doubt, blame and regret

I can’t see how you’re leading me unless you’ve led me here
Where I’m lost enough to let myself be led
And so you’ve been here all along I guess
It’s just your ways and you are just plain hard to get

Listen to Rich sing a raw, demo version of this song here: 
1 01 Hard To Get Demo Version

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“Hard to Get” by Rich Mullins can be found on A Jesus Record (Word Music Group, 1998) by Rich Mullins and a Ragamuffin Band. Via LetsSingIt—Your favorite music community. Lyrics reprinted under CCLI #651520